Testimony: "This amnesia that changed my life"

A less reactive left eyelid ... This is the only sequella that this mother of three has kept from her head trauma (ranked 7 on the scale of Glasgow from 3 to 8). On the eve of her 35th birthday, a serious car accident plunges Virginia into a coma. When she awoke, locked in the present, she lost all her bearings ... "For months, I saw my life, but like a little child, I could not reconstruct neither the past nor the future."

Virginie remembers very well this day of heat wave, in July 2006, where she took the car with her husband to go to the barbecue of a boyfriend of high school in Château-Thierry. The couple had entrusted their three children to the grandparents to "decompress" after a busy week. Her husband was driving. Nobody on the road. It was hot. The radio went from classical. Virginia has fallen asleep. Of the accident, she keeps only a flash: "What is happening ? Warning ! "Before waking up a week later in a hospital bed. Like in a dream, or rather a nightmare

I waited in vain for "Cut!

I went to see Mamouna (my grandmother who has been dead for years) in her houseThis is the first sentence I uttered when I opened my eyes and saw my mother at my bedside. I had lost all contact with reality. Even if the mirror reflected the image of a disfigured woman with multiple fractures, I really wondered what I was doing there! Thanks to a kind of instinctive memory, I knew that these three children who came to visit me were mine. But it stopped there. I had the horrible feeling of moving into a pasteboard movie set, like the hero of the movie "An endless day", Condemned to relive indefinitely the same day ... Disinhibition was part of my other symptoms. I expressed everything I felt, without a filter. Caregivers paid the price. I even fell in love with one of them!

I felt locked in another dimension

On my return, I recognized my house, neighbors, friends, but without making the link with my past life, unable to gather memories by mere will. I communicated with others in appearance but I completely swept away what I was deeply as mother, spouse, wife. Although, before my physical and mental powers, I spent my days prostrate, swinging back and forth, or lying on the ground, unable to be there in the concrete. More than once I thought of throwing myself out of the balcony to wake up. That's why I was never left alone. When I had access to the article from a local newspaper reporting the accident - my companion had apparently lost control of the steering wheel - and saw what was left of our car - a jar crushed yoghurt! - I realized that I was not dreaming. I kept coming back: it was tangible proof of what had really happened. To explain my feeling of unreality, I therefore concluded that I was dead in the accident and that my ghost was returning among the living. I wondered if my relatives saw me. I lived this way until the autumn in a feeling of extreme loneliness and morbidity. In early October, I attended the wedding of the godmother of my daughter, which took place in the gardens of the town hall. I thought myself in a cemetery going to my own funeral ...

Time has done its job

However, life was still going on: the children were going to school in the morning and returning by the end of the afternoon, the help was going home cleaning and shopping, friends were visiting, I was flipping through mother photo albums ... All these references of everyday life have helped me a lot to "come back to earth". I was unable to give any affection but I received many of my relatives. I went to the hospital twice a week for ophthalmic and psychiatric follow-up. The regular appointments in Sainte-Anne with Dr. David Gurion, in kind and almost friendly contact, did me a lot of good. A treatment also allowed me to lighten my anxiety. I became aware after two or three months that I had suffered from traumatic amnesia and that a long reconstruction work was waiting for me: five years to return to my life before. It was faster than expected. At Christmas, I was back to "normal".

I wanted to make up for lost time

Since I was not dead, I had to live intensely. I put away my shiatsu practitioner diploma, issued the day before the accident, to return to my first love: photography, scriptwriting. In 2007, a year after the accident, my husband and I were married. But a new accident, on the road to vacation, three years later - because of the bursting of a tire - precipitated the end of our relationship. Fortunately, we have all five survived this dramatic crash on the guardrail of the highway. Divorced in 2011, I decided to live in the absolute freedom of what I am ...

I forgot all the superfluous, not the essential

I, who previously lived my life without asking too many questions, I began to have the nausea of ​​conventions, forced relationships, social networks. What I experienced made it possible to bring out all that I wore more instinctive in me. I'm only going where my desire is calling me. As I am very confident and nothing impresses me - neither the spiders nor the sickness or the hospitals I was phobic about - I have never felt so creative. I developed an immense capacity to live in the present. I no longer address "problems" in the same way. Lately, I lost my wallet with 100 euros. I immediately had the reflex to tell me that it was not serious, that this money, I would have anyway spent, before realizing that this experience was basically very useful because it allowed me to 'soften my relationship to money. In each event, there is a "trick" to understand. Me, it took me two "road trips" to understand that I was following a path that was not mine ...

Video: Kodak Black - Testimony Official Music Video (December 2019).


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