When the loss of a loved one occurs, clothes are the least of our concerns. However, the dress that one brings to the day of the last farewells has all its importance and sometimes asks many questions. To get rid of these futile considerations quickly in this painful moment, we answer the questions that you can ask yourself to allow you to dress respectfully to attend the funeral.
As the expression "mourning" emphasizes, the dress worn on the day of the burial of a loved one must reflect the sadness shared by the family, friends and acquaintances of the deceased. . That is why there are some unspoken rules to apprehend this important moment of life. Here is a practical guide to accompany you in these difficult moments.
What colors to wear to a funeral?
Unless there is special demand from the family, in the West it is conventional to dress in black and other dark colors to attend funerals. Among them, navy blue or anthracite gray. These symbolic shades echo the sorrow felt by each one and make it possible to address his pain as much as his respects to the relatives and to the deceased.
Good to know : a touch of color more "vivid" like red or purple (colors also symbolizing the mourning) is also accepted, provided to avoid the flashy. It is particularly timely if the deceased was a particularly cheerful person.
However, the colors of mourning may differ completely depending on where in the world the burial is held or simply the religion of the deceased person and his family. For example, in Asia, people attending funerals in India or Vietnam favor wearing white clothes to say goodbye. In Japan, people in mourning wear black and white because the Japanese consider that the deceased is transformed into a body of light. In China too, it is customary to put on white, which symbolizes death, but also red which reminds the blood and symbolizes the pain felt. In Iran, the color of mourning is blue, which is also the color of peace. Filipinos and Egyptians dress in yellow to represent the gold of the sun during the mourning period. The customs of some African communities also invite you to wear bright colors that are in this case very well lived by relatives.
It is therefore advisable to inquire before the funeral about the religion, the origins of the deceased and the wishes of the family in order to respect the color code of mourning.
Which fabrics to choose for mourning clothes?
Besides the color of your clothes, the choice of the material is also very important.
Always prefer to opt for plain rather than print, even discreet. Finally, choose a fabric that is held and not too conspicuous. Avoid satiny clothing, shiny fabrics or dark velvet but with flashy reflections. The opulent materials like brocade would be moved. A simple cotton blend is often the best choice for a sober and elegant look. Buy it for a fine and sober wool in winter weather.
What attire to wear at a funeral?
The overarching idea is not to wear a casual outfit that would be seen by most loved ones as a lack of respect.
It happens that the entourage wants a dress code very formal (suit for men and dress + jacket / coat or pantsuit or skirt suit for women) but most of the time the family does not require too sophisticated a dress the last must simply be sober and respectful, the goal being to be elegant without being too dressed either.
That's why one of the unspoken rules for women is to avoid dresses and skirts above the knee as well as plunging necklines (especially if it's a religious burial). Opt for dresses and tops with round neck, boat or at least quite closed and choose models of skirts or dresses that cover your thighs. Same for tight clothing that is to be avoided.
Dress, pants or skirt, it's up to you to choose the outfit in which you will be most comfortable. It is rather the style of the garment that will count. Banish the frills like ruffles, laces, patterns, rhinestones and other fantasies that are not circumstances. Bet on simple and chic cuts, which reveal little skin.
Good to know : if it is someone very close to you (spouse, brother / sister, cousin, parent ...) you may want to pay tribute to him in an outfit that he particularly liked. If the garment remains appropriate although printed or making a small sprain to the rule ... It is quite possible.
Can we wear jeans at a funeral?
Although it is a basic dressing, generally speaking, the jeans are not recommended to attend a funeral because it is a casual connoted clothing. Whenever possible, turn to classic black suit trousers whose elegant, understated cut is perfect for paying homage.
However, it is tolerated for teens and children (if the model is dark in color and without rips) and also for adults in some cases. It may happen, indeed, that the entourage of the deceased asks you to present the day of the burial clothed as you usually are. It is sometimes a way for loved ones to better live this difficult moment by preferring to express their attachment by reading a text or a brief speech rather than our outfit. In this case, you can wear sober clothes including jeans. Then opt for a black jeans, gray or dark blue, without washing or tearing or accessorization (patches / beads ...). You can also easily wear dark jeans, dressed and not too tight, if you are a distant acquaintance of the deceased. Your mere presence tends to pay your respects to the family you know little about.
There is of course no precise rule as to the wearing of jeans in this sad circumstance but rather a usual recommendation that you can decide to put into practice or not. You can choose to wear jeans to attend the funeral of a close relative. It all depends on the interest you and the relatives of the deceased bring to the holding on this day of burial. Over time, the mourning clothes evolve and become less strict, so the jeans find more and more its place in the dressing room of mourning.
What clothes to wear for a funeral when it's hot?
When funerals occur in the summer, the heat stress adds to the pain when you choose to dress. The conventions expressed previously are still current but adjustments are necessary to be able to live the moment without risk of running out of air in your burial clothes. The key is to avoid being too naked. Shorts and tank are strongly discouraged, it is also better not to have shoulders and bare arms in the church if there is a religious ceremony. So you can opt for very short sleeves, provided you have a vest in an ultra fine mesh that lets the air or a very light jacket to cover you when the time comes. Also bet on breathable materials like cotton or linen. Finally, depending on your heat resistance, feel guilty about having short sleeves or take off your jacket outdoors because no one will blame you for removing your overcoat under 30 ° C.
Which shoes to choose to go to a funeral?
The choice of shoes is very important to attend a funeral. It is recommended to wear flat shoes (and preferably comfortable so that you do not get bothered in this important moment).
Avoid high heels at all costs so you do not make too much noise when walking or risk tripping, or get stuck in the grass when you go to the cemetery for example.
Also avoid sneakers that may seem too casual and casual for the event. Choose to wear moccasins, ballerinas, flat boots or simple derbies. An important detail: your shoes must be clean and with laces well made in respect.
What accessories can be worn at a funeral?
Sobriety is in order. Avoid jewelry that is too conspicuous and use only simple accessories. Black opaque tights are a good idea if you are wearing a skirt or dress.
Sunglasses are allowed to hide your sorrow, but only if it is a model with wise frames. No question of wearing flashy mirror glasses so.
Finally, some once indispensable accessories have become obsolete like the veil and hat that are no longer used.
Good to know Do not hesitate to provide an umbrella if the burial is at a season when the showers are numerous. A tip, think ahead to have a suitable model and not too colorful.